-R.O.D-

OTPC 006:Shopping

*

I stand in front of the supermarket shelf, asking,
"Hyung, which color do you like? Green or pink?"
I guess you might like the pink one,
so I put the pink toothbrush in the cart and continue my shopping in the supermarket.

We used to go grocery shopping together on the weekends,
and 'cause we were  both so busy, I cherish these hours even more.
Once you asked me why I enjoying doing grocery shopping so much;
hyung, it is because that you were with me.
But now you don't.
Okay, I know that you would if you could, so I won't blame it on you.

Hyung, Seungri and Daesung will come for dinner tonight; I will make them some sushi...
I bet your mouth is watering, huh?
Too bad that Taeyang can't join us, he's on a business trip to Tokyo.
As for dessert, I pick up a piece of yokan and some strawberry flavor ice-cream without second thought;
but then I laugh at myself, for I'm so used to buying these stuff for you...
it has become a reflex action of me.
Since you won't show at dinner today,
I put them back and get some brownies, Seungri's favorite, instead.
It's sweet that they come for dinner every Sunday.
I know they are worrying about me and volunteer to keep me company.
They are nice, but it does not eraser the fact of your absence.
However, I appreciate it and try to forget you every time they come,
though I never success.

Carrying these bags home without your help is really tiresome.
I still remember the day when you would carry me on the back
and handle all the bags with your strong arms;
the first time you did this, I kissed your cheek and you blushed like a five-year-old boy...
you know what? What I love you most is your childlike innocence.

Hyung, I miss you so bad.
How is your life in heaven?

Even to this day, the fact that you have left still sounds untrue to me,
like a nightmare, but I cannot escape.
I couldn't accept this at first, and I would still cook your favorite dishes,
waiting for you to come home and hold me in your arms, murmuring,
"Jiyongah, I'm home."
I miss every little things about you,
your voice, your warmth, your smile, your smell, your touch, your loving caress...
I thought about ending my life and go after you, but I know you won't allow me to.
You are the one who would shed tears over my little cold, not to mention if I ever hurt myself...
Therefore I made up my mind to live the best of me--not only for me, but for you as well.
I hope that whenever you gaze down upon me from heaven,
you'll see me smiling, and I want you to know that the smile is for you.

Until the day we finally meet again,
I'll carry on my life with your love, just like you were beside me.

My dear, dear, Seunghyun hyung, I'm fine...how do you do?

Free Talk

純粹是情緒低落了,生活中的瑣事和一直狂放的小道讓人心煩

選擇用不熟悉的語言書寫,為的是怕自己深陷,卻還是難過:(

只能一直告訴自己,

...只要你幸福,什麼都好。